Its only because I care
by nerdplease
Summary: A fic about Ruth and Jay. Injuries, arguments and time is running out. Will they sort there problems out? my first fic so please be nice.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first fic so please be nice. I have more chapters ready to be published but i would like reviews and comments first please before i add the next chapters._

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_Tick_

Ruth blinked. The ceiling stared back at her. The sound of deep-breathing from Jay lying next to her was the only noise in the room.

_Tock_

Another day. She glanced to her side. Jay was asleep, his mouth scrunched into a frown. Ruth smiled to herself as she watched him sleep. It was only now that Ruth realised how lucky she was. Her career was going well and her love life was actually going right for once.

_**BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**_

Ruth started, shocked out of her daydream. Her arm automatically reached out hitting the snooze button on the digital clock next to her bed. Ruth had taught herself how to throw herself out of bed, but it still didn't make it any easier to leave the cosy confinements of her bed. She padded round to the other side of the bed and crouched round by Jay's sleeping face. She blew gently on to his face and smirked as he batted the air by his face with his hand.

"Come on Jay, you'll be late if you don't get up now"

An incomprehensible mumble came from somewhere under the covers. Oh well, thought Ruth, his fault when he gets it in the neck from Tess again. Ruth wandered out into the kitchen, dodging the half-unpacked boxes that littered her new flat. Reaching into one cardboard box she withdrew her normal mug and filled the kettle. As she waited for it to boil she gazed round her kitchen thinking about the day ahead. Another day with her boss, Sarah Evans, who seemed to be the devil incarnate. Sighing, she buried her head in her hands. Though it had been what she always wanted to do since she was eight years old, the struggle to become a surgeon made her wonder if it was really worth it. A plastic click from the kettle informed her that the water had boiled. Ruth was busy pouring the water that she didn't see Jay sneak up behind her.

"Morning princess"

Ruth jumped. Boiling water spurted everywhere. Ruth screamed as it burnt her hand.

"What the hell are you doing" she half-yelled, half-sobbed, clutching at her left hand. The skin had turned a raw red where it had made contact with the scalding water.

"Ruth! Ruth I'm sorry!" Jay stuttered, trying to inspect her hand.

"Get off!" Ruth said, wrenching her hand out of his grasp. Cradling her hand, she turned on the cold tap.

"Can I help?" Jay asked as he fussed with her hand.

"Just get out of my way! If you actually thought and didn't act like you were a six-year old this wouldn't have happened! Sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in you! You're just an unreliable, useless staff nurse!" Ruth's bitter words hung in the air after they left her lips.

Jay's face stayed blank but Ruth could see the hurt in his deep brown eyes. Slowly he turned away and left the room.

"Jay... I..." Ruth bit her lip as the front door to her flat slammed shut.

Sighing Ruth sunk against the wall gently clutching her hand.

"I didn't mean it..." Ruth whispered to herself. The words travelled round her empty flat like an echo making her feel even more alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Taking in the smells of the E.D. Jay realised he would know that he was in this place even if he was blindfolded. The sharp acid smell of disinfectant left a tang ion the back of his throat. Lifting his hand he scratched his head blearily taking in the familiar hospital surroundings. He hadn't had much sleep last night, just stayed up drinking and watching some television programme that he thought was somehow related to beavers trying to distract himself form the words etched across his mind.

"_Unreliable...useless..."_

And it wasn't as if the words were particularly harsh, he'd endured much worse from his times out on the Razz, but coming from her... Her eyes had seemed so cold when she'd said it, as if they were full of hate. That was what hurt the most. And the fact that he knew in his heart that he loved her, really loved her, more than anyone in his life. Well apart from his Nan, but that was a different type of love. He ached to see her again, to hold her and tell her that he didn't care. But the truth was, he did.

Looking across the crowded E.D. Ruth saw Jay gazing into the distance. His eyes were deep in thought. Ruth had been watching him the past few days, watching as he carefully avoided her and when he had to speak to her, he was courteous and polite. It wasn't him. Ruth bit her lip as she remembered the cruel words she'd shouted at him.

"_Useless... Unreliable..."_

It wasn't true. Well, he might not be on time for work but that was beside the point. He wasn't useless. She'd always hated that word. It was the exact same word her father had yelled at her during his drunken rages. She hadn't meant to say it. She was caught up in the moment, caught up in the pain.

"Ruth! Ruth we need you in here!" snapping out of her daydream she looked up. Jess was calling to her. Grabbing her stethoscope she ran into recess.

"What have we got?"

As she glanced around she saw Jay tending to the drip. She caught his eye but he shifted his gaze, determinedly not looking at her. Tearing her eyes away she began to assess the patient.

"This is Michael Morgan, 24. He was found at the side of the road. Hasn't said how he got there or how he got his injuries. Dislocated shoulder, suspected fractured wrist and severe lacerations to his upper arms, torso and face. Possible glass cuts to his face as well."

"Right" Ruth's mask of detached professionalism came down.

"My name is Dr. Winters, how did you receive these injuries?"

"It was them... They... They want me! B...But I won't let them! I won't!"

"Its okay, Michael. Who wants you?" Jess asked her voice full of concern.

"The voices. They won't leave me alone. They won't stop till they have me!"

"Its okay, your safe here" Jess shared an anxious glance with Ruth.

"Right Mr. Morgan, I'll need to take a look at your cuts" she tried to tilt his head to one side.

"No! No... Get of me! Don't touch me!" Michael lunged out.

"Whoah! Calm down!" Ruth said, "I just need a look at your face..."

Michael was struggling, he had two nurses trying and failing to hold him down.

"Michael, Michael, please" Ruth pleaded. She desperately glanced at Jay and looked him briefly in the eye, only for a second. And so, she didn't see the punch that knocked her out cold.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Please people, rate and review. I'm not updating again until i get some reviews. more chapters are ready and waiting._**

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Bongo drums. That's what Ruth decided the tiny man inside her head was playing very loudly. Her head was thumping in time with the beat. She suddenly became aware of something cold pressed against her forehead. A drop escaped and rand own to her neck, pure and cold against her smooth neck. Ruth also became aware of a burning gaze fixated on her. Groggily, she slowly opened on eye. It took her eye a while to adjust but she could see Jay standing in the corner of the cubicle, arms crossed in front of his chest watching her. Gradually she opened her other eye and struggled to sit up.

"What happened?"

"You were knocked out" came the reply. His tone was normal, perhaps even a little too normal, as if he was trying not to convey an ounce of emotion in his voice. Ruth raised her hand to her temple. Her eye felt puffy and the skin was tender and bruised. A cold compress was taped to her forehead, damp with cold water.

"What are you doing here?" Ruth said, her voice sharper than she had intended.

"I wanted to check you were alright" he replied his voice wavering a bit, as if he was nervous around her.

"I'm fine" Ruth replied. She flinched as her head gave a particularly sharp throb.

"I just wanted to make sure..." his voice trailed off slowly.

Ruth suddenly felt this anger flare up inside her. What did he think she was? Some helpless puppy that needed to be taken care of constantly and watched every second?

"Get lost, Jay. Do you think I need you here? Do you think I cannot cope without you? Well you're wrong. I'm fine! Now just leave me alone!"

For a moment he just stood there. Then, slowly he turned and slipped out of the cubicle. As Ruth watched him go she cursed herself mentally. He was looking out for her and she was knocking him back in every direction. This was the second time in under a week she had vented her anger on him and wished instantly she could take it all back. She didn't know if he would take her back a third time. She'd be bloody lucky if he did. Sighing, Ruth sunk back into the pillow and soon, the sound of bongo drums was all she could hear again.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Okay so I got one review. Thank YOU! but seriously guys, I get way more reviews on the R&J website. I don't have to upload it on here, they appreciate it on there. So if you dont want me to stop then REVIEW. Okies, rant over... :) Georgie xx_**

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"Jay? Jay? JAY!!"

Someone was yelling in his ear. It was Tess.

"Earth to Jay! You're needed in cubicle 3"

Blearily Jay lifted his head up. As he stretched sheepishly, embarrassed after getting caught sleeping on the job, his hand brushed against a cup of coffee. The hot brown liquid spread across the desk. It reached the files on desk and nearly spilt onto the computer keyboard if Noel hadn't reacted quickly and moved it out of harm's way.

"Watch out Jay! You nearly got the computer!"

"Sorry! I wasn't looking" as he apologised to Noel he swung round and crashed into Alice. Folders she'd been carrying in her arms crashed to the floor and sheets of paper spread everywhere.

"Jay!" Alice groaned.

I... sorry..." Jay sighed. He bent down and helped Alice to scoop up her files and papers. After she had scurried away he stood up and made his way over to cubicle 3. Before he drew back the vivid blue curtain he could already here the patient inside coughing up his guts onto the floor.

"Great" thought Jay as he heard the vomit splatter on the floor and grabbed a mop "just what I needed to make my day"

Pulling a face, he took a deep breath and entered the cubicle.

Jay had finally finished treating his patient in cubicle 3. He was sitting on the squishy sofa in the On Call room. He'd made a cup of tea and had his biscuit ready to dunk. As he hoovered up the soggy mess of his biscuit he heard a slight cough come from the door. Standing there was Ruth. A bluey-purple bruise had blossomed on the side of her temple, contrasted against her chalk white skin. She was nervously digging at a hangnail while she watched him.

"What?!" Jay said sharply staring up at her.

"I just... I...I wanted to..." her voice trailed off and she bit her lip nervously.

Jay raised his eyebrow. It wasn't like Ruth to be nervous, to act almost human. It almost made him feel powerful to watch her squirm.

"I... I didn't..."

"Didn't what Ruth?" Jay asked sarcastically.

"If you're going to take that tone with me, I won't bother!" she snapped.

"Oh, I'm sorry Doctor Winters! I apologise for anything I may have done to upset you. Please forgive me!"

"Why do I bother?" Ruth shot him a disgusted look.

Jay felt anger bubbling inside him. Why was he always in the wrong? He was sick of her ice queen act and always being on the wrong side of her. She needed therapy.

"Why do you bother? How do you think I feel!" his voice started to rise. "I'm always in the wrong. Nothing I do is ever enough for you Ruth! I come to apologise and you transform into the Ice Queen! What will it take me to get through to you? Every time I get close to you, you manage to escape again. Anytime I try to talk about the past this shield comes down in front of you. You never mention your family..."

"Maybe it's because I don't want to! My dad's a drunk, my brother's in jail and my mum died when I was younger! I apologise that my childhood wasn't perfect like yours!" She yelled back at her, blood rushing to her face.

"You think you were the only one who had a rough childhood? My dad buggered off and my mum ditched me and my sisters with our Nan while she spends her time getting drunk and high with some new scumbag boyfriend." Jay spat the words out venomously especially on the word "mum."

"Oh Jay I didn't realise..." Ruth reached out to him.

"Leave it." He shook her arm off. He turned and went to leave the room. He paused by the door and turned back. "I can't believe how anyone could be so emotionless" The he left slamming the door behind him.

Ruth stood in the middle of the on call room by herself. A stray tear slipped from her eyes and slid down her cheek. Impatiently she brushed it aside and took a deep breath before she too left the room.


End file.
